Monster (comedic poem)
A shift from our regular programming
We are a normal family,
A father and a mother,
I have a little sister,
I have a little brother.
But we have a curious secret,
Something quite bizarre,
Someone lives inside our house,
You’ll not guess what they are
He is the food devourer,
Eating leftovers with haste,
If something’s to be wasted,
It goes straight to his waist.
He snacks Tuesday’s luncheon,
He’ll munch on Thursday’s tea,
If it’s chilling in the fridge,
He’ll eat that food for free.
Sometimes my babysitter,
My nanny or my driver,
When mum and dad got out,
He won’t even get a fiver,
We sometimes play at monsters,
At mermaids or at tigers,
When we lead the army
There are no survivors.
He has his friends to dinner,
He goes to work in rain,
His room is really messy,
But dad does not complain.
One day two people visited,
I was shocked, it’s true,
I’d never considered,
He has parents too,
He’s kind of like a brother,
He’s kind of like a friend,
He’s technically our lodger,
But that is not the end.
He’s really just a person
Who wants not to live alone,
So he’s in our family,
Cos he doesn’t have his own.
In my 20s lived with a family. This is written from the imagined perspective of one of their children. I don’t actually recall writing it, but it’s my thoughts and style. It was a strange life to lead and I don’t think I had much of a future at the time, but there are many happy memories.